Choose Ye This Day

So this is part of my 10 years of studying both the Gospel of Jesus Christ as well as personal study of the Inner and Outer Circles. 

In life there are many dualities we get to experience. Whether one chooses to experience them within the natural man (in a compulsive behavior) or in the spiritual man (a Christ-like behavior) will ultimately help us in our Eternal Journey on the Eternal Covenant Path.

32  And the Lord said unto Enoch: Go forth and do as I have commanded thee, and no man shall pierce thee. Open thy mouth, and it shall be filled, and I will give thee utterance, for all flesh is in my hands, and I will do as seemeth me good.

33  Say unto this people: Choose ye this day, to serve the Lord God who made you.

34  Behold my Spirit is upon you, wherefore all thy words will I justify; and the mountains shall flee before you, and the rivers shall turn from their course; and thou shalt abide in me, and I in you; therefore walk with me.

Moses 6:32-34

For most of my content I draw for an hour to see how much I can accomplish. I want to become a better drawing artist, and I'm not really trying to impress anyone, merely just become better than I was yesterday. 

I have been doing various sketches to see how fast I can produce content and just get myself loose in painting in Sketchbook Pro. In this example I first made a model in 3DCoat and exported it to Modo for rendering. Then imported the PNG file from Modo to Sketchbook Pro for speedpainting. I thought the shape looked like a heart. So I went with it. —Christopher Stapleton

Here are various other sketches done in both Sketches and Sketchbook Pro.

Tayasui Sketches 

Sketchbook Pro

Sketchbook Pro

I noticed that sculpting in various softwares has been a difficult and challenging process. Especially when one has little knowledge in 2D drawings of anatomy. I have been trying with time give more finesse in drawing the anatomy of the human body for both male and female. It's so crucial to be able to draw, and then bring traditional drawing skills into 3D sculpting software like Zbrush.

I am also noticing how slow I am as an artist when it comes to drawing. It has taken me a while to work on content little by little. 

I'm taking the Intro to Environment Painting with Maciej Kuciara on Learn Squared and wanted to share some of the Homework I'm working on.

The class is $249 for a lifetime membership. Intro to Environment Painting

Here are some things I have been working on in the homework.

We were shown how to make our own grids in Photoshop on the computer. 

We were shown to take a photo a deconstruct it like this and then redraw it in a different view.

The image I used 

Reference image website

The image deconstructed

The deconstructed image redrawn 

Drawing architecture has been a great addition to learn. I would like to do about 20 more of these.

Nobody likes being in the hospital but some of this artwork was created in the hospital a while back. The second picture in the middle was created just yesterday. I have a love of the cosmos, and drawing concepts that lead to bigger 3D projects really help me understand more about the universe we live in. 
  

Many years ago, I was bearing my testimony in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon) Sacrament meeting in Kirkland, Washington in East Seattle as I often try to bear by testimony as often as I can.

A testimony is a living manifesto or worldview of things we believe, are coming to understand, have a firm foundation upon, and know things are viable, virtuous, delightsome, authentic, and true in an eternal sense—and we want to share small and simple principles with other members of a ward or congregation of immediate and distant members within a location or boundaries within city limits. Wards are usually a lot smaller than stakes, and many usually 10 or less, make up a stake. Many stakes makeup areas, and so on. There are those who preside over areas, stakes, wards, and branches.

I have tried wherever I have lived to be "my most authentic self" and "be true to whom I am" as a son of God. As an adult, I keep growing and whatnot, but inside I still feel like a little child in a big world.

I have had a hard time with mental illness, and now high functioning autism, or as they now say, one on the autism spectrum or autism spectrum disorder. Many people feel I do not have autism, but I have been diagnosed by two doctors regarding as such. So I'll count it as another blessing in my life with spiritual gifts I can add to my collection and use in time of need.

On this Sacrament Meeting Sunday, I walked up to the front of the room, where a pulpit is located on the rostrum of the chapel in an LDS Church, and began offering up publicly the desires of my heart. Which is to testify about the divinity of us all as children, male and female, as children of God, and Their literal connection to us as their spirit children.

I was bearing my testimony, of gospel truths, went and sat down, and finished the meeting by hearing others who had born their testimonies. I was getting ready to leave for another class in Gospel Doctrine when I notice a small young boy (he was age 8 or so) at that time. His name was Bryce, and approached me out of the blue, and gave me this drawing he had made on paper like a "paint-by-number" drawing of a lighthouse bearing and sharing light with others.

So I told him I would make him a drawing also, and this is the rendering of the image he had drawn on the bottom, and my rendition is on the top of his drawing.

Now that I think about it, I would like to do a larger full drawing on top of his drawing in Zbrush 2018 as I just purchased it for use with 2D drawings. I think it's amazing what children can do when they hear, see and respect light knowledge traveling in and our of their ears. I am very grateful for Bryce, and this is his valiant little lighthouse!

This is the updated version from what he drew originally in his drawing.

I call it, "Time Together". 

It has been a while since I have posted on my blog of what is going on with traditional and digital media. I want to start streaming on Twitch https://www.twitch.com/coldwhitefire and start a Patreon account https://www.patreon.com/coldwhitefire where i can be myself and see the authentic energy within come out.

Much in my life I have seen a lot of anxiety and depression, dark and sadness due to struggling with life challenges. 

I have been thinking over the years about Cold White Fire as a method of energy within. Authentic energy within which is basically light from one's inner self from the inner circle can bring much joy and opportunity.

I have learned to be myself. To be happy is a choice, not a destination. There is some sadness in happiness and some happiness in sadness. I want to be myself, share my artwork, learn and grow and meet people along the way in this new journey of mine through Patreon and Twitch.

I will be sharing my authentic light within through traditional and digital media, engraving, audio and video content. Welcome to the family!

Get ready for some new and interesting ways of testing artwork. Thanks! 

Vol. 1:003 Being Forged by an Eternal Flame: Longing for the Tree of Life

Longing for the Tree of Life

I submitted four concept designs to Facebook and most people chose number 4 versus all other concepts. I think two or three others liked version 2 which I liked more than 4. I like the cinematic approach to seeing darker images in front and a central theme, the Tree of Life, in the back rather than being at the Tree in the foreground. Here are the concept designs I posted on Facebook:

For the past two weeks, I have had the opportunity to regain my strength by being in the hospital. I don’t like being there but it was good to get on the right medication dosages, and in some ways prove to the doctors that I was well enough to go home.

To be told, as I count it a blessing, “You will be on medication the rest of your life and will never work full time. You are totally and permanently disabled” was probably a difficult thing to hear, but the best blessing I have ever received. Having heard this difficult thing, was hard to hear because I could hear all of the repercussions of how this little phrase, “never work full time” would fit into view with my being able to provide for myself, and my loved ones didn’t really make sense to me. Being the “breadwinner” means a lot to me and what I can do for my family.

Ultimately, it came of pride I was holding onto—my desire to want to be the provider—is up to God as he provides for his saints as said in the Doctrine & Covenants from Jehovah himself through the Prophet, Joseph Smith. The Lord says, 

14  I, the Lord, stretched out the heavens, and built the earth, my very handiwork; and all things therein are mine.

15  And it is my purpose to provide for my saints, for all things are mine.

16  But it must needs be done in mine own way; and behold this is the way that I, the Lord, have decreed to provide for my saints, that the poor shall be exalted, in that the rich are made low.

D&C 104:14-16

In reality, everything we have, have had, or will have in the future belongs to the Lord. All things come from Him, and He decides which job I have, which opportunities come to me and my family, which things both good for me or not good for me He allows me to pass through such as challenges, trials, blessings in disguise, or hard and even difficult things—that will be better for me in the end.

With someone with paranoia (on an off the medication), delusions (on and off the medication), hallucinations (on and off the medication), this doesn’t and isn’t something to shrug off. Its like really intense, and it works and eats away at one inside, like a cavity in a tooth decay. Those little guys are in the tooth decay, working, and doing their jobs as little bacteria do, and do so well. It's like hitting a gong with a chainsaw-jackhammer and feeling the sensations, vibrations, ambiance, amplifications on one's soul for just a moment, but that feels like it lasts emotionally and mentally as a constant, pounding, repetitious audio gif, stuck in a loop, for the rest of one’s life. 

A chainsaw brush I designed: 

While at first, I didn’t want to be there. I ranted and raved about not being there when in reality, what turned into a bad situation was exactly what I needed to regain my strength, and learn about the medication that I currently am on, that is helping me have a state of calmness and patience to help me from day-to-day living.

Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Mormon obviously, a member of the LDS Church, has helped me mostly because I need the structure the Lord has provided for me through the structure of His Church. One may view this Church as just a “church” and that’s ok. I am willing to bet that most people who read the content on this blog, may not be members of the LDS Church, which is great.

One thing I have learned by being a member of the Church, is the Church is set up as a divinely appointed organization built up by the Lord, the people who are in the structure of the Church, are just men and women struggling to find joy within a tumultuous world heading down the toilet very very quickly—a super swirly even!

Over a large period of my life, I have wondered what Lehi’s Dream was like until I was able to pray for guidance and the Lord taught me in a vision for myself what Lehi’s Dream was customized for me—was really like. 

I’m putting together original artwork based on the Tree of Life and Longing for the Tree of Life

The Great & Spacious Building Rough: Kitbash3D Gothic in Modo 902.  
PureRef references images of my own creating. 

These reference images are my own work drawn in 2004 at the Art Institute of Seattle drawn by hand for an unknown reason; which reason is currently known. 

I have wanted to make a great and spacious building as I had seen it in my dream in 2009.

At the top of this post is a new perspective of the great and spacious building and longing for the Tree of Life; which is ultimately to be with Christ our Savior. Having a lot of challenges with mental illness has helped me see the value of darkness versus light. Light trumps darkness, even though in art there is mostly a strong contrast between light and dark values. Where without the light darkness wouldn’t show, and without the darkness, lighter values wouldn’t appear.

This reminds me of the Book of Mormon and the law of opposition.

11  For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my first-born in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility. 2 Nephi 2:11

In a metaphorical sense my Savior, Jesus Christ is my Light. He is the Tree of Life, which is the love of our Father in Heaven to send His son to help us return back to live with our Father in Heaven. In the next couple posts, I will be spending more time than I have now, longing for the Tree of Life, rather than longing for the great and spacious building. I have a serious of paintings I have been wanting to explore.